HURRY UP PLEASE IT'S TIME

So this happened over the weekend and you know, thank you. The fact that so many of you listen to...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:30:09 +0100

So this happened over the weekend and you know, thank you. The fact that so many of you listen to what I have to say and laugh at my silly, self deprecating posts and read the things I write means way more than it maybe should but whatever, I care about what people on the internet think, I care what you think of me and this is really nice.

As a proper thank you I am in the process of bullying my sister (and possibly the girlfriend) into helping me make a few chapbooks so I can do a little giveaway thing.

You’re all super cool.

I can vanish. I can close my eyes and I can’t see you, you can’t see me. I can close my...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:18:56 +0100

I can vanish. I can close my eyes and I can’t see you, you can’t see me. I can close my throat and put everything I’d say somewhere else and you can’t stop me, you can’t see me. I can watch the world end and I can fire it up again, I can be the girl with the power of God on her eyelids, I can shut you out, I can stop this. I should.

You shouldn’t talk about love. There’s no need to tell the world how it feels and what it means and why it matters. How old it is, how long it’s festered inside of you and how it hurts and why you’ve wanted it so badly and what that’s like - getting a thing you’ve always wanted, how it matches up. I shouldn’t listen to a word you say, I shouldn’t watch your face as you say it, I shouldn’t let you stay.

We’ll start with the house, which was large. Three staircases deep and so long all of us who worked...

Wed, 22 May 2013 16:46:39 +0100

We’ll start with the house, which was large. Three staircases deep and so long all of us who worked there had ox strong legs and I had strong arms too, I could walk on my hands and sometimes, when no one was around, I would, I’d tickle the carpet with my fingers because it felt like we were in the belly of a whale and I wondered if he’d sneeze us out.

So the house was big and it was old and it was dry like old things are, like a leaf that’s kept together by the bones and has to be handled carefully because it’s so old, so old and dry and precious. We spent more of the day tending to the house than the people, who were only pieces of proud, high furniture, with ancestral rights to a place there. In need of constant reassurance that the house belonged to them when the truth was the opposite.

I lived in the belly of the whale for eight years, longer than Jonah and Gepetto and I liked it, for the most part. I liked the entrance hall in the mornings, when the light filled it like water fills a pot. I liked the routine, I liked having a job I could learn like lines, learn by heart. I liked the kitchens, I liked the drama, I liked a large group of people trapped in one huge house and acting out their lives like the house was a stage, like the world was listening, like their lives were a story to tell and to scream and to sing. I felt safe there - there were two worlds and the world of the house, it was just as real and exciting but it was safer than the other world, which couldn’t get in, couldn’t get at us. I stayed there as long as I could, I was sad to leave, but I never had love there. It was all arms and no heart; being handled but not held. Love came after the house.

Erdem Moralioğlu Leticia embroidered organza overlay dress

Wed, 22 May 2013 00:45:00 +0100

Erdem Moralioğlu Leticia embroidered organza overlay dress

Most embarrassing moment?

Wed, 22 May 2013 00:19:09 +0100

I fell down in Brick Lane the other week, not fell over fell down like just fell on the floor for no reason, went down like a sack of potatoes and then when I was on the ground there were people everywhere and looking so I tried to laugh it off and I was like, “Hahahaha what a loser I am how silly I’m on the floor hahahaha” and my girlfriend was like, “Oh my god are you okay?” and I was bleeding and the laughter fooled no one.

Which is a really similar story to the time I fell down the gap between the train and the platform only that was worse because I didn’t, “mind the gap” but at least I fractured my leg that time, which lends a real gravitas to the whole story.

One time I was wearing this fairly short, tight dress and I was on the tube and my tights were too big and they were falling down, like they’d gone past my crotch, but the dress I had on was too tight to do a little, surreptitious hitch up underneath and I was walking through the tube station and it was dire straits because the place was full of people, but the tights were almost at my knees and I was practically waddling so I dumped my bag and pulled my skirt up and yanked up my tights as quickly as I could right then and there and this group of policemen were watching and they laughed.

Egon Schiele, Totes Mädchen, 1910

Tue, 21 May 2013 22:07:14 +0100

Egon Schiele, Totes Mädchen, 1910

No Mum, tidying my room will not make me feel better about not getting that job, sitting on the sofa...

Tue, 21 May 2013 20:27:04 +0100

No Mum, tidying my room will not make me feel better about not getting that job, sitting on the sofa under my duvet watching Mulan and eating coco pops will.

I’m twenty three.

taken by imwalkingwithspiders

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:23:36 +0100

taken by imwalkingwithspiders

could you post more couple photos if that's okay? you're both so cute and smart and fashionable : )

Mon, 20 May 2013 23:19:00 +0100

Message received while lying on the sofa, wearing jeggings and a sweatshirt that predominantly features a velociraptor and crying over the record breakingly large spot that has made my left cheek it’s home.

Whatever, we are occasionally all of those things so sure, keep your eyes peeled.

So the other day I had this interview and we were chatting quite casually, talking about school and...

Mon, 20 May 2013 22:16:52 +0100

So the other day I had this interview and we were chatting quite casually, talking about school and university and how much I liked history and reading etc etc and the interview guy asked me if I watched Game of Thrones and I was like yeah I suppose I watch Game of Thrones every now and then casually you know and then he said, “Did you see the lastest episode?” and I was like, “OH MY GOD YES WASN’T THE BEAR PIT SCENE WITH BRIENNE AND JAIME AMAZING I’M SO GLAD HE CAME BACK FOR HER THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.” And he said, “…I haven’t seen it yet.”

So I don’t think I’ve got the job.

My Game of Thrones watching experience is mostly just me whimpering and holding out my arms towards...

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:50:17 +0100

My Game of Thrones watching experience is mostly just me whimpering and holding out my arms towards the tv whenever Jaime and or Brienne are onscreen.

Sick of sitting in an office and calmly explaining why it’s not okay to call Kim Kardashian a...

Mon, 20 May 2013 21:16:21 +0100

Sick of sitting in an office and calmly explaining why it’s not okay to call Kim Kardashian a disgusting fat whale.

betterhidethem: usual print clashing but today was mostly...

Mon, 20 May 2013 20:32:09 +0100

betterhidethem:

usual print clashing but today was mostly people commenting on my hair in pigtails

you should wear your hair in pigtails
either people will say you look about seven
or that the hairstyle comes in handy for blowjobs

what

why would i dip my pigtail into your mouth that’s so unhygienic

My girlfriend is so cute I get to kiss this face how weird is that

Tumblr totally spoiled the elementary finale for me and UGH if there was ever a plot twist not to...

Fri, 17 May 2013 16:59:46 +0100

Tumblr totally spoiled the elementary finale for me and UGH if there was ever a plot twist not to spoil and now I’m trying to watch it on the train but I don’t have a good enough signal and basically I have a lot of Irene Adler thoughts that I’m going to share with you as soon as I’ve watched the whole thing be excited.

P.s I know we’re all sad that season one of elementary is over but Luther well be back soon and then we can all bask in another really well done loose Sherlock Holmes adaptation yeah.

Bought this beaut of a bargain dress (£9!) at Saltburn Vintage...

Tue, 14 May 2013 01:42:20 +0100

Bought this beaut of a bargain dress (£9!) at Saltburn Vintage fair on Saturday and now I’m going to wear it everywhere; vaguely pleated skirts are my new thing.

What I’m used to is long days in empty rooms and people five feet away and conversations that end...

Tue, 14 May 2013 01:39:19 +0100

What I’m used to is long days in empty rooms and people five feet away and conversations that end with that smile like, I’m safe with this. Took nothing, learnt nothing, gave nothing away, tried and tested, said it all before, so have you. Tell me all about that new air freshener you got for your car and what you had for tea last night and the shitty sexist piece of crap movie you saw this weekend I’m really interested I swear. I swear, I swear I always fucking swear it’s the most I dare do.

What I’m used to is stranded, like the road from my house is a way out but it’s full of dead men and barred by metal monsters and the only escape route is Trojan horse so stranded. Most days, stranded, most places stranded and living off scraps on an island full of people who like their own space, keep to themselves.

I mean I lie for a living and I hate it because my dream is to lie for a living, art you know. Lie lie lie truth lie, selling exterior home improvements works the same because I want to write how I feel, some truth about how I feel but it comes out obscene and the price of these windows, it’s obscene. You have to wrap it up nice, go in with the three for two and the existing customer discount and the ninety six hour sale and the working in your local area for a limited time only bullshit. Push it push it, sit lying on the phone all day, get pissed off the moment someone calls your out on it, say, “Some people are so fucking rude”. I go to work, get on the phone, sell a conservatory. I come home and I write and I sell myself.

And I’m not used to fingers on my spine and I’m not used to five feet closer. And I want to write you poetry but poetry is just metaphors and shopping lists of chiseled out contradicting feelings; you make me happy and sad, hot and cold, alive and dead and none of that gets close and no metaphor applies and it’s too soon for poetry. And too soon is what? Time and the talking you fit in that time? Taking time and sitting on the train with my eye on the time, hands shaking, right up there on the richter scale, we’ll see each other soon.

Okay so I’ve been trying to watch the same episode of Buffy for two hours, but my sister...

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:49:18 +0100

Okay so I’ve been trying to watch the same episode of Buffy for two hours, but my sister won’t stop talking to me about this boy she’s texting. Here is a small excerpt:

“Oh my god so he put “lame? really? sticky out tongue kiss kiss” that’s TWO kisses after I put TWO kisses I think two kisses is a trend now and then I ended the conversation because that’s really cool like I have better things to do and I told him I had to go eat shit lots of curry because curry’s cool and we bonded over curry that one time but I’m not actually having curry. Aaaah he texted me again! “enjoy your curry winky face kiss kiss” what’s he doing I have to eat my non existent curry.”

Photo

Sun, 12 May 2013 15:37:26 +0100

Hey I hate Community now Season four is just awful, there hasn’t been a single redeeming...

Wed, 08 May 2013 23:19:04 +0100

Hey I hate Community now

Season four is just awful, there hasn’t been a single redeeming moment.

Is this the general consensus?

Why didn't you like the latest Game of Thrones?

Tue, 07 May 2013 23:49:00 +0100

I don’t know it’s hard to put my finger on it, maybe it was the part where they murdered a fairly prominent female character who, shock horror, happens to be a sex worker, with as short a scene as they could manage, in an episode where she had no dialogue and in a manner that was as horrifically violent and sexualised as possible. Maybe because killing this character served no purpose whatsoever other than to illustrate how sadistic/cruel/ruthless two male characters were EXCEPT we already knew that because of the other scenes where they beat and threatened and tortured sex workers.

Maybe that.